MAGIC words of ENCOURAGEMENT

            People live on encouragement and appreciation.  Watch the face of a tiny baby, a child, an adolescent, a young adult and the older generation, the same, when an encouraging, sincere and truthful comment is shared. It will bring a smile, and even more… it will bring courage, and hope and ambition and vision.

We think that that is true only when it comes to face-to-face encounters, but it is also true in our communications such as emails, and facebook posts, etc.

            Visions and goals can be dampened, even killed, by criticism and unkind remarks.  So while we are so busy with our faces glued to our cell phones, sending little emojis….remember that verbal, face to face encouragement and uplifting appreciation is always the very best way to reach the heart and soul of our fellow man!

Here’s a little story from Dan Montgomery that proves my point:

A nurse ushered me into my grandma’s room. Lying in the hospital bed, she looked so small. Her eyes were closed. I sat down quietly. I was on my way to seminary and full of self-doubt. I had just given up a full scholarship to medical school, and everyone thought I was making a mistake.

I desperately wanted Grandma’s advice, but the nurse had warned me that she didn’t have much strength left. After half an hour, Grandma hadn’t stirred, so I just started talking. Suddenly she woke up, asking, “Danny, is that you?”

She told me how her faith had guided her all her life. After a few minutes, a great peace settled around us. I kissed Grandma and turned to leave, but then I heard her whisper some parting words. I leaned over to listen. “I believe in you,” she said.

Grandma died that night, but in more than 20 years of work as a Christian psychologist, I have passed on her words many times. Four simple words can make a lifetime of difference.

Charles Schwab said “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men [in my company] the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best in a man is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a man as criticisms from his superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a man incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise, but loathe to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise”.

There is a very basic courtesy that should apply in all human relations–taking the time to thank people who help us. People who are the most successful in business are those who have mastered the fine art of making people feel good by thanking them regularly.

Those people will call customers simply to thank them again for the order they placed last week or for the recommendation they made to another customer, or for the lunch. And before the conversation is over, that praiseful businessman has often secured another order.

That call can never be made with ulterior motives, for people would recognize the manipulation and resist. But if you make gratitude a lifelong habit, it will only serve you. The art of praise–what is known as positive reinforcement in the current psychological jargon–is an essential art for an executive or teacher [or anyone dealing with people] to master.

If there is one complaint employees most often express, it is this: “I never get any feedback from the boss–except when something goes wrong.” And the teenagers who sit in my office tell me again and again, “My dad gets on my case when I mess up at school, but when I bring home a good grade he acts as if it’s nothing–that I’m finally doing what I should have been doing all along.”

Stop and think. How long has it been since you took a full 60 seconds to talk to your son or daughter about some fine thing they’ve just done? Or your secretary, or the managers who work under you? When someone comes along who genuinely thanks us, we will follow that person a very long way. Make every encounter, every email, every note… an encouraging one.