Why Is Forgiveness So Important? 

Did you ever wonder why forgiveness is so important in God’s Word? Forgiveness comes up many times particularly throughout the New Testament? The real meaning of the word “forgiveness”  in Greek is to “remit someone’s debt”.

In a conversation between Peter and Jesus, Peter  said, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Then Jesus saith unto him, ‘I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.'” (Mt 18:21-22). Then Jesus gives a detailed story about this question regarding a rich ruler (Mat 18:23). Jesus starts by saying, “The kingdom of heaven is as a rich ruler who wanted to settle his accounts with his servants…”

The story goes on to say that the master forgave this first servant his massive debt in full, because he pleaded for forgiveness and remittance. However, that same acquitted servant goes out and imposes the immediate payment of a much smaller debt on someone else, in full, and has him thrown in jail for not being able to repay immediately.

When the master heard about the incident, he called the first servant back and re-imposed the heavy debt upon the forgiven servant in full, and then put him in jail, to tormentors, till the debt was paid in full. Jesus ends the parable by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

There are a few hard lessons in this parable. For one, the debt of the first servant was so much bigger compared to the debt of the second servant, and yet, the master forgave the first servant in full. This message is of course related to how God forgave us all, by sending His own Son to pay the massive debt of our sins, in full.

Jesus then explains in this parable how the “master” responds just as His Father responds to unforgiveness: “His lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” (Mt 18:34,35) It is as though when forgiveness is extended to us it is then retracted if we do not extend forgiveness towards others. God reinstates our debts when we will not forgive. That’s quite intense…

In other words, we forfeit the forgiveness we have in Christ when we choose not to forgive others. Any unforgiveness makes us incapable of receiving and walking in the forgiveness that Jesus purchased for us at the cross. “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Mat 6:15). 

Notice that Jesus mentions at the end of the parable that forgiveness has to come from the heart. We sometimes pretend to be willing to forgive but we expect the other person to ask for forgiveness first. But did God forgive us after we asked? Actually, He provided forgiveness for us before the foundation of the world, long before we became aware we even needed it.

Unforgiveness is one sin that many of us have to contend with. In fact, most everyone has been hurt at one time or another, and have not been able to resolve the issue. We even hold unforgiveness towards God. When people are horribly abused or greatly wounded, we tend to take it out on God and say, “Where was God then?”  He had the power to stop this from happening. Why didn’t He do anything?” Pride is oftentimes what hinders us the most from receiving God’s forgiveness.

There’s also the kind of forgiveness where we also must forgive ourselves. If we do not forgive ourselves, we act as if we have sinned beyond forgiveness and we hold ourselves to a higher standard than God does. In essence we’re saying that Jesus died for all sins but mine is the exception the almighty God cannot forgive. We declare our sin as more powerful than Him. It is pride and arrogance to think that way.

There are many reasons or excuses why we choose not to forgive. If you think you have a right not to forgive, you then exact upon yourself an extreme cost. It will strangle your future and leave you without hope. Remember unforgiveness has torments.

If you think they don’t deserve to be forgiven, you’re right, chances are they don’t. Neither do you. Mercy does not come to the deserving. Only justice does. But forgiveness is for those who don’t deserve it. Our view of God is often reflected in how we treat others. Those who say that others don’t deserve to be forgiven usually don’t believe that they deserve to be forgiven themselves and often have difficulty trusting God.

“I have tried but I can’t forgive.”  Those who say this, have often given up after making an honest effort, but they usually came short of blessing the other party. Actually, forgiveness is only half of the whole process; it takes the extra effort of blessing that person to complete it and make it stick. Jesus said we’re not only to forgive our enemies but to also pray for our enemies and for those who persecute you. At the cross, He not only forgave His enemies but He asked His Father not to hold this charge against them.

If you don’t follow through all the way to blessing, you remain on the Merry-Go-Round of unforgiveness and never getting past zero, which is the remittance of their debt in full. This will frustrate and dishearten anyone. The act of blessing actually requires much less effort than flopping back and forth between trying to forgive and yet returning to square one every time.

“Okay, I will forgive them someday but I’m not ready now.” If you think you can wait until you think you’re ready, it will never happen. It has to be a definite decision “from the heart” to resolve the issue, once and for all. Jesus clearly said, “…unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”  

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Eph 4:31). 

We sometimes think we’re not genuine or sincere unless we really feel like forgiving. Remember, emotions are not always reliable. “He who trusts in his own heart (emotions) is a fool but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” (Pro 28:26). Forgiveness begins with a decision for good and we can make that decision regardless of how we feel. It’s a choice that determines a move in the right direction, not our feelings; and that holds true for both forgiving and blessing that person.

Lastly, forgiveness, reconciliation and trust are all separate issues. Once trust has been violated it is not easily restored. Forgiveness can be granted but trust must be earned. A battered wife for example should forgive her husband, but forgiving him doesn’t mean that she has to put herself in the same abusive situation. Forgiveness makes it possible to re-establish trust but does not guarantee it.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.” (Eph 1:7-8) 

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” (unforgiveness) springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” (Heb 12:15).